In Camera

Years ago, in post-World War II France, existentialist playwright Jean Paul Sartre shook the intellectual world with his play called "Huis clos". About a decade ago, I was given the daunting task of teaching this masterpiece to a mini group of very intellectually alert students of 'Diplôme Supérieur' - a course that I was then teaching at the Alliance Française de Kolkata. I did teach the course to the best of my ability after painstakingly researching everything there was to research about it and its author.But I continued to be intrigued by the fact that the title of the book somehow became "In Camera" (a legal term, meaning a discussion behind closed doors) in its American version, I could never figure out why this name haunted me and disturbed me profoundly . In the over-anxious effort of doing my 'job' well (and this continues to be an ongoing obsession) I missed out one vital thing : I did not relate it to life and therefore did not quite understand then, the implications of the  American name "In Camera".

The plot of the play , in brief, is a depiction of the afterlife in which three deceased characters, Garcin, Inès and Estelle,  are punished by being locked into a room together for eternity. These three damned souls are thrown together in a supposed 'hell' and each is in denial of ever having committed a crime. They had all expected medieval torture devices to punish them for eternity, but instead find a plain room furnished in Second French Empire style. None of them will admit the reason for their damnation: Garcin says that he was executed for being a pacifist, while Estelle insists that a mistake has been made. Inès, however, demands that they all stop lying to themselves and confess to their crimes. She refuses to believe that they all ended up in the room by accident and soon realizes that they have been placed together to make each other miserable. [Plot synopsis: courtesy Wikipedia]

Then Life happened to me as it does to some people. I say some people, and not everybody, for a reason. In my view most people go through life as if on a journey, collecting tags on the suitcase [name, education, profession, marital status, accomplishment and so on] on the way. Very few, the 'some people' I referred to, are the chosen few who look behind the curtains into the dark room to come face to face with the horrors that you do not want to acknowledge even exist. The agony of looking deep into the abyss happens due to what I now call perspective, for want of a more appropriate word. This agony, as I now figure, was the central theme of Sartre's play "In Camera" that deluded me in my youth.

Perspective is defined as a mental view or outlook. Your perspective is influenced by so much and luckily is not set in stone. Your life experiences, your learning journey, the people you meet, culture, geographic location and the language you speak contribute to your current perspective. It's like looking through a lens, that of a camera, the one that is in your hands as a composite factor of all of these experiences that have shaped your perspective.

My own perspective  was predetermined by world history as well as my family’s personal history. It has been molded since then by living amongst different communities,  speaking four languages and by traveling to the extent that I did. As you go through life, you begin to have a worldview. You mistake your version of reality for THE version of reality. Each of us has a biased worldview because we are all limited to a single camera perspective. That is we can only see what comes before us, we can only hear what is around us, and we can only read that which is in front of us. No one has the definitive version of reality. The clash of perspectives happens when there are "others" participating in the same situations that you are a part of.

I look at people and am reminded of the metaphor of an iceberg in relationship to culture. Only 10% of their cultural being is visible to me above the water surface. The way they dress, the way they speak, their food they eat, games they play, their literature, traditions and celebrations. 90% of who they are is below the surface: the concept of time, their relationship to death, their rules of conduct, personal space, tolerance of physical pain, roles in relationship to age, class, sex and kinship. People and cultures that are so different from my own have taught me, if anything, to know that nothing is set in stone. Any “truth” you hold dear, opinion, conviction which is shared with everyone around you in your geographic location can make you an instant outsider when in another place or simply among a different group of people. 

                                                                 


If, on the other hand, you put culture aside, and think only in terms of the 'being', even then every other 'being' is an outsider looking at you through the lens of her/his camera and therefore silently judging you or compelling you to judge yourself. This silent game of guilt, judgement, punishment and retribution goes on relentlessly. As humans we are social beings, but as Sartre showed more than half a century ago, as long as we remain "In Camera" there is no need to be banished to a geography called 'hell', we are carrying our 'hell' around us, right in the here and now. Incidentally the other versions of Sartre's masterpiece have also been called No Exit  and Dead End.

'Burnt Toast'

Teri Hatcher, of Desperate Housewives fame, is also the author of  "Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies of Life,"  a book in which she explores the proverbial 'burnt toast' metaphor for women who too often take the leftovers for themselves -- something, Hatcher says,  she is guilty of, and is trying not to do as much, but still does. This malady is so widespread that I believe that it merits being called a 'syndrome'.  

What is there in a burnt toast? a charred slice of bread that deserves to be thrown away but so often you see the woman of the house attempting to salvage it by scraping off the black, or hiding the burnt parts with jam. Almost never is this slice of bread offered to anyone because she keeps it for herself to eat it later. In so doing what she is saying to herself and to the world -- is that the piece of bread is worth more than her own satisfaction. To move away from the literal interpretation, what this means is placing everyone and everything above oneself. This is pattern behavior that is passed on from one generation of women to the next. I learnt it from my mother, she must have imbibed it from her mother and so on. Each woman in turn is well-meaning but ends up giving a mixed message to a child, irrespective of gender. The male child grows up seeing the mother in a sacrificial rôle and learns to expect the same from other women who come into his life. The female child on the other hand gets the message that she has to carry on the stereotype, unquestioningly accept that in the order of priorities the last place is hers, that self-sacrifice must be habitual to her.


This pattern behavior is present across cultures and I firmly believe it has no ethnocentrism associated with it. In simpler words, that women have to be habitually sacrificial is not a characteristic of the Indian woman alone; it is prevalent the world over. I have had personal experience of my male foreign colleagues boasting about how sacrificial and therefore 'sweet' their wives or mothers are. If you come to think of it, this fact alone makes this an issue worth taking a re-look at. Psychologists say that there are certain behavior patterns that we inherit from our fore-mothers, that we are born with an intuitive cognizance that if we are women, we are to behave this way or set our expectations in such and such a way. Therefore if this behavior pattern is intuitive, it would appear that there is very little we can do about it because we have very little, if any, control over our unconscious minds. Having said that, I would like to hold out a ray of hope insofar as educated conscious beings, we owe it to ourselves to break free from this pattern, to make a choice for our dignity, for the dignity and the inculcation of a proper value-system for our daughters and sons.


So Ladies, the next time around throw away the burnt toast and tell yourselves with a smile that you deserve better, much better.

A Busy Cook's Cookbook

Sometimes I wish I had at least two heads, ten hands and a few more hours to my day. I feel the inadequacy with my current lot especially when I struggle to live up to the expectations of producing magic meals at the drop of a hat. The magician who pulls a rabbit out of a hat fades in comparison with the cook who produces a delicious, nutritious meal after a busy day's work at the office not to mention the numerous family chores and minor crises on both the fronts, home and office.To pull off such culinary miracles she must have a few tricks up her sleeve.By this I do not mean sole reliance on convenience foods that come out of a packet or bottle, although I am in no way discounting their contribution to making modern urban life  a tad easier.

The greatest secret is in planning ahead and in making the maximum use of time when you have it.The saying goes that if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. This adage applies equally in your career as well as in your kitchen. Vision is everything, according to me.The vision of a family happily chattering away around a pleasant meal is no less than the vision of an empire spread far and wide.The busy cook who has a more or less clear vision of what he/ she plans to serve as meals in the coming week will stock up the refrigerator with key necessary ingredients over the week-end and save himself/herself the impromptu visits to the super-market that can cause super waste of time that is at a premium in any case. Once you have the ingredients, store them neatly in see-through containers with lids and at the risk sounding crazy, I am even suggesting that you label them with a date.

To make the maximum use of a spare evening or morning, use the time to make a sauce/ gravy that you wouldn't necessarily use immediately, that you might even consider freezing in small jars for later use. If you are non-vegetarian, clean and marinade fish/chicken/ meat using either ginger-garlic or yogurt and freeze in two to three separate portions for quick miracle dishes later on. Chop 2 to 3 days' supply of onions, grate oddments of stale cheese, cook a large batch of rice, or knead fairly large mounds of dough. All of these can be stored in the refrigerator for two to three days, the cheese slightly longer.Fresh peas can be shelled and frozen, so too fresh prawns and shrimp. Herbs such as mint and fenugreek ( or 'methi') can be sun dried on a holiday, lightly powdered and stored on the shelf. I find it very useful to have a lot of half-cooked stuff such as boiled lentils (or daals), boiled potatoes, boiled eggs in the refrigerator. Also you could periodically use your spare time to grate carrots, finely chop cabbage, dice vegetables such as gourds and divide cauliflowers or broccoli into florets, puree tomatoes...and marvel at the convenience this can lend you while you are cooking on the run.

A busy cook would be wise to make use of any of the time saving devices that he/ she has in the kitchen, such as pressure cookers, microwave ovens, sandwich makers, hand mixers and so on. Many of us buy fancy gadgets but never learn to make optimum use of these. The point is to make the most of your infrastructure. Read the manuals well and do not be afraid to try out new things, as these are essentially labor saving devices and not decor pieces. Better still is put in a little bit of planning here as well and to study the gadget before buying it than after. Define your need first and then go for the device that would cater to that. You know your need best, not the salesman who is trying to sweet talk you into investing in something that you are never going to use.

Lastly, I am happy to share with you a few tips that I have learnt from experience:

• Do not shy away from cooking on a four burner hob. It's much easier than it appears at first. All four dishes do not require equal attention
• Cooking in large shallow pans is quicker than using a deep pan
• Keep spoons, knives, ladles handy where you can easily get them without having to step away from the  gas
• If you cook any dish halfway through and divide into two equal portions, the two can become two entirely different dishes depending on your ingenuity
• Instead of blanching tomatoes, prick in a fork and roast on an open fire; the peal comes off much easier for you to get a smoother puree
• If you slightly wet onions and garlic before pealing, the task becomes easier
• Use the blender for quick sauces and soups instead of struggling to pass them through soup strainers
• Liquidize grated cheese and mayonnaise together along with a veggie such as mushroom to make a quick sauce to accompany fish our poultry dishes especially for that family member who has an irritable bowel and cannot eat too many spice-laced gravies
• Have a ready-to-use home-made mixed spice powder by lightly toasting on a pan whole spices of your choice and grinding when cooled
• Avoid bending too many times to dispose off vegetable peals, egg-shells etc.in the waste bin;  instead   keep a large bowl on your counter-top that you can empty out at one go when you are done

HAPPY COOKING !!