When enough is not enough

There used to be a time when buying new clothes needed an occasion like a birthday or a festival or New Year, when the connection of the first landline telephone at home would send a thrill down our spines, when in a family of two or three kids getting your own study desk seemed like a privilege. Yes, I am talking about a bygone era when enough was really more than enough. Things are different now. We are living in an age when enough is never enough.

Take for example the current craze for gadgets for communication like cell phones or tablets, etc. Consumers are looking for more and more feature-laden gizmos, service providers are promising enhanced connectivity, bandwidth, and what not. It is a common sight to see youngsters with one or more of these in their hands, typing away feverishly, apparently ‘communicating’ with ‘friends’. It makes me wonder whether the same people would be  as communicative with each other if they met  face to face. Since the present generation of parents of these youngsters also insist that that their ward must have one of these for the sake of safety, it makes me wonder whether our parents were less protective of us when we were kids

Consumerism, which was once a phenomenon in the West, has invaded the Asian spaces as well. Manufacturing is going on unabated, media & advertising are spreading the word around about what’s on the shelves and there is plenty of money chasing these goods, even from the middle class segment. People buy clothes, shoes, bags and other accessories not for looking good in them but because possessing brands gives them an identity. So nothing short of designer labels is worth even looking at. Is this adding to our self-worth or eroding from it, one often wonders.

We are living in times of excess, of yearning beyond the basics. By basic definition, a car is supposed to be a vehicle that can carry you safely and comfortably from point A to B. That would be just enough. But enough is no longer enough; so if it is not a fancy piece of equipment, promising you a pick up speed of 0-180 km/h in 8 seconds or less (in cities where traffic moves at snail’s pace), it is not worth possessing. Your house or apartment is inadequate if you are not part of a conglomerate with club-houses and gyms and swimming pools! A wedding ceremony is no longer the celebration of the coming together in love of two beautiful souls. It must have all the jazz and glitter that money can buy.  The locale has to be at least five star to be worth a mention, with exotic menus and designer jewelry and clothes. Even information is available in excess, thanks to the internet. So nobody really bothers painstakingly acquiring it, as we once used to do, by waiting in long queues and spending hours at libraries.

By the laws of economics, anything that is available in excess undergoes erosion of value.

Nobody, and yes, I repeat, nobody finds all this nauseating! We are slowly but inevitably getting socialized to accept this as our way of life. I know the ultimate wisdom is in accepting things the way they are, but cannot avoid feeling the agony of losing my sense of proportions, the angst for a time when value and worth were not commodities on sale in the marketplace.



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

What not to do this Valentine's Day !!

Love is in the air....

You can feel it, so can I, what with the weather being perfect at this time of the year and the markets abuzz with products and services for the love-struck wallet. If your heart's a-flutter contemplating about how wonderfully romantic Valentine's Day is going to be, you might just risk throwing caution to the winds and commit a faux-pas ( for the non-french speaker, this word roughly translates to 'a blunder in etiquette or manners'). What held the promise of a lovely day might just turn into a nightmare of misunderstandings.


                         So, here comes a list of what NOT TO DO this Valentine's Day

What not to do on the day:

• Expect her to come and meet you - pick her up.
• Arrive late for that appointment - a woman hates to be kept waiting, do not take chances, arrive at least 30-45 minutes ahead of time.
• Over-dress - come well groomed but not dressed like a dandy.
• Under-dress - again come well groomed, no girl likes to go on date with a slob. 
• Appear clue-less  about the plan - plan ahead about where you want to take her, make reservations, check out the venue yourself in advance.
• Get chatty with a friend - if you happen to meet an old friend, keep the conversation restricted to a bare courteous minimum. You can always catch-up with him/ her some other day.
• Praise any other woman - even it is your mother or sister; save that for some other day. Today is her day.
• Over eat at dinner - a date with a glutton is not very romantic. Go home and eat if you are hungry.

What not to say to your lady-love :

• "You are late" - better get used to this as this is one of the privileges she is going to expect lifelong. 
• "You are my better half'" - think about it, if you call her this, then by default, you are the worse half, which she might not be interested in. 
• "You complete me" - so before she made an appearance into your life what were you? A half-boiled egg, or a half-baked cookie?
• "I cannot live without you" - don't be surprised if you hear "Get a life" in response to this lame declaration.
• "I like spending time with you" - so she is nothing more than your favourite pass-time, huh!
• "Roses are red, violets are blue..." - or any other cheesy rhymes that you find on the internet; these are fake and will make you seem so.

What not to gift her:

• A half-heart pendant - very very retro, reminiscent of cheesy movies from the '70s.
• A cuddly teddy-bear - she is an adult in a relationship, not a school-girl with pig-tails!
• A deodorant or body spray - I'm sure you're not dumb enough for me to have to tell you what message this could carry.
• A coffee-maker/ food-processor / any other kitchen-gadget - are you really going to risk telling her that you expect her to need/ use/ be engaged with these?
• A bracelet/ necklace with the motif of chains or shackles - this will only serve to scare her away
• A ring with your name inscribed on it - much akin to telling her "I look upon you as my property" or "I own you"

Follow these tips and have a wonderful Valentine's Day.

[Disclaimer : I can only share tips with men since I only know the woman's perspective. I welcome any of you guys reading this to leave comments that'll help women.]