Try telling a teenager...

One of the most painfully perplexing yet hilarious things I have experienced in life is trying to communicate with a teenager and not being able to make headway. These are some of the standard issues I recurrently try to approach and I receive one or the other of these replies.

Parent -                       Time to get up, it’s morning/ 7 am

Teenager’s reply           Why?? Who made this rule that mornings are for getting up?

                                    Yeah, I know. You told me twice already!

                                    I’m too tired to get up

                                    I don’t care what time it is. My day begins when I get up.

           

Parent -                        Come here and help me with the chores

Teenager’s reply            Why do we need to do these things? What’s the point of dusting when you know  
                                     that it’ll get dusty all over again?
                                     Where’s the dirt? I can’t see it!

Parent -                      Clean your room

Teenager’s reply          My room doesn’t need cleaning. I like it this way.

                                   Please, you don’t clean it either. I can’t find my stuff!!!

Parent -                       Switch off your phone, it’s bedtime/ study time

Teenager’s reply           Yeah, just a minute

                                     I can text and sleep at the same time.

                                     I am texting a math formula

           

Parent -                      Veggies are good for you

Teenager’s reply           So you have them. Have my share as well. It’ll be good for you.

Parent -                      Don’t use such words (‘dude’, ‘yup’, ‘yeah right’, ‘gimme a   break’, etc.)

Teenager’s reply           Why? What’s wrong with them?

                                    You don’t use them as they didn’t exist in your time.

Parent -                       This is not love

Teenager’s reply           That’s what you think

                                    I’ve never felt like this about anyone else before

                                               

Parent -                       This is junk you are watching on TV

Teenager’s reply           So??

                                    ‘Tis just time pass, Ma. Chill.

Parent -                       You must accompany us to this wedding

Teenager’s reply           What will I do there?

                                    Everybody is so old there!

Parent -                       Why are you wearing those torn pants?

Teenager’s reply           These are not torn!! I cut off the bottom.

           

Parent -                       Dad will drop you off at the multiplex.

Teenager’s reply           Thanks, but please ask him not to hang around there

Parent -                      There’s barely a month to your exams, aren’t you going to start
                                   studying?

Teenager’s reply          You are kidding, right? There’s a MONTH to the exams!